sEkiaN tEriMa KaSiH

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM

ASSALAMUALAIKUM WBT

Never thought that our relationship will end like this. Seriously, why? That's the only question left. Nak salahkan dia pon tak boleh. Siapa nak perempuan bitchy macam aku ni? Kaki gosip, asyik nak merungut, nak marah, nak meroyan. Please, itu bukan kriteria nak buat bini laaa. What do you expect?

Be there for you 24/7? Always pick up your call? Reply your text immediately? Dia tak ada kerja lain ke? Dia goyang kaki dekat rumah ke? Come one, you're not for him. You're definitely not for him. He deserve a lady. A decent lady. Yang faham dia. Yang ada when he needs one. Yang boleh fulfill his imaginations. Yang boleh sabar with all the never-fulfill-promises. Yang boleh say 'yes' to everything he said. Well, it used to be me. Not anymore.

Last two weeks probably (actually was) our ending. Tak sangka. Seriously. Never expect this to happen. Dia tak tunjukkan tanda-tanda nak break up, nak screw up the relationship ke apa. Flaws. Pasangan mana yang tak ada flaws? We're human. Memang sentiasa buat dosa. Except for him kot. Aku rasa dia ni perfect human being laaa. Sorry, aku tak layak dengan dia. Sorry, we're not meant for each other. Tolonglah, macam langit dengan bumi kot. Tapi, itulah... Benda yang kita tak expect, itu yang jadi. No reasons, nothing. Aku pun still terpinga-pinga and clueless sekarang ni.

And up until now, I'm still waiting for his explanation. No. Not waiting. It's tiring. God knows how long I've been waiting and be patient with him. Forget about being decent or not. If he judges me based on that day we spent last two weeks, sorry to say, he's not a man. Lelaki sebenar will judge me starting from day one we know each other, apa yang aku dah buat untuk dia, macam mana aku treat dia, berapa banyak air mata aku menitis disebabkan dia, macam mana aku defend dia depan family, depan kawan-kawan, berapa banyak aku makan hati dengan perangai dia, berapa lama aku bersabar dengan alasan busy dia, berapa kali aku bagi peluang each and every time he said 'sorry', tapi dia tak pernah recall semua tu. Memory dia tak kuat agaknya. Dia tak ingat. I bet dia tak pernah tahu pun... 

Murahnya relationship. All the efforts, times, money, energy selama ni hilang macam tu je. Sikit pun tak ada rasa sayang, tak rasa valuable, tak rasa nak appreciate semua tu as like he did it for fun, just nak isi masa lapang, saja, suka-suka, boring buat benda lain apa salahnya sekali-sekala mainkan perasaan orang kan... Whatever. As I said, he's not a man. Hilang dan senyap macam tu. Lelaki apanya? I did ask for explanation. Well, kalau tak nak explain pun just say 'nak' or 'tak nak' so senang aku nak cari bakal menantu lain untuk mak ayah tapi a single closure pun tak ada, sorry coward. Tak tergamak nak panggil you lelaki sebab lelaki sebenar takkan buat perangai macam tu.

I think, enough is enough. Even aku bithcy macam ni, I still have dignity. Nak terhegeh-hegeh dekat orang, especially you, sekian terima kasih sajalah. Simpanlah apa-apa yang I bagi dekat you tuu, buat trophy, buat kenangan, buat pengalaman sebenarnya. Sebab benda tu takkan kekal lama pun. I know I was right about suka dengan sayang. Saja bagi you peluang. Things I don't know is, what God plans for me. Yelah, things happen for reasons. (suka ayat ni tak tau kenapa)

 

Anyway, this time around, tak ada dah lagu christina aguilera, ziana zain ke, pelamin anganku musnah ke apa benda nak musnahkan pelamin mahal-mahal tu dah kenapa? Tukar pengantin lelaki je dah la. Itu pun susah... Bukan dia yang bayar. Dahlah. Banyak benda lain nak buat selain daripada meroyan pasal lelaki ni eh dia bukan lelaki. Ok bye!

p/s: i learned a lot of things termasuklah belajar macam mana nak beli online flight tickets.

So, there's nothing to regret. Flight bukan pergi utara je kaaannn...