iT's NoT aBoUt ThE PiCtUrEs, iT's aBoUt Us

IN THE NAME OF ALLAH

THE MOST GRACIOUS THE MOST MERCIFUL

PEACE BE UPON HIM RASULULLAH SAW

ASSALAMUALAIKUM WBT

Ibn Hazm said: “Anyone who criticises you cares about your friendship. Anyone who makes light of your faults cares nothing about you.” 

(amaran: entry ini ditulis semalam tapi baru post hari ni. jadi sila jangan fenin. dan entry ini juga sangat panjang. jadi kalau rasa-rasa tak nak buang masa, sila jangan baca ^_^)

Alhamdulillah. Baiti jannati. Rumahku syurgaku. My home my paradise (direct translate teghoih). Tengok muka ayah, tengok muka mak, nothing else to say – GEMBIRA. Adala dalam sejam lebih yang lalu aku sampai. Lepas salam mak ayah, terus terjah dapur cari nasi. Kalahorangsetahuntakmakan. Lauk masak lomak cili api pulak tu YA ALLAH memang inilah syurga. Lepas sembahyang asar terus mintak duit dekat ayah nak beli buttercup. In short, sekarang tengah tunggu kek vanila masak dalam oven. Mengidam tiba-tiba ^_^ tak tahu kenapa. And of course I’m in the kitchen right now. Sekian. Dah. Tamat mukadimah.

Tapi, semalam ada cerita best dengan totally spies. Clover, Alex and Me. Sila pengsan sekarang aku pun tak tahu kenapa tulis macam ni. Ye, semalam after a looooooong period of time, we finally hang out together (sungguh kalau boleh aku nak tambah lagi huruf ‘o’ dekat perkataan ‘long’ tu). And this time around, JUST 3 OF US! Aku tulis capital letter macam nak cakap jangankacaukawanakuduaekoqni kan? Ye. Kalau ikutkan hati, begitulah. But...

Persahabatan itu juga bukanlah sebab kita ingin memilikinya. Tetapi kerana kita inginkan kasih sayangnya tidak kiralah walau di mana pun dia berada.




I used to be in the dark world. Zaman kegelapan. Maksud aku zaman kegelapan hati, kegelapan akal, kegelapan dalam menilai. Aku jadi macam alat permainan syaitonirrojim. Apa yang aku buat, apa yang aku cakap, apa yang aku tulis, semuanya tak berlandaskan iman dan syariat. Sesat habes. Aku main redah je tanpa pedulikan hati dan perasaan orang.

And yes. I am talking about them. Totally spies tadi (haish apela totally spies tak ada katun yang islamic sikit ke?). Sebab diorang yang paling rapat dengan aku dekat UiTM ni dari Merbok sampai Shah Alam, so most of the entries here were talking about them. About having fun together, facing problems, sharing our thoughts, bad talk about each other, sindir-sindir, perli-perli, you name it. They were all here in this blogspot. Kalau rajin carilah. Sebab aku tak pernah padam entry-entry tu semua. And those will be my bittersweet moments that I will never forget. InsyaAllah.

But, these few semesters, which I can say that I regret the most. Don’t know where and when it begins. We were slowy apart from each other. she talked about her. her talk about she. Who said that I excluded? aku rasa akulah manusia yang paling banyak bunuh kawan aku sendiri. Kalau boleh nak je aku menjerit kat diri sendiri BODOH-BODOH-BODOH dua-dua-pun-kawan-kau-la-itu-pun-tak-reti-nak-jaga-ke?

And hey Hani. Eh silap. Assalamualaikum Hani. This is me, Ain Nathasha Omar. Your stupid ex-roomate and your foolish friend (if I can still be considered as a friend).

I was in a great faulty way before. I always do bad assumptions towards you. Talk behind you. I didn’t treat you equally. I didn’t treat you the way I supposed to. Yes. I used to be biassed. I used to hate you as well. I thought that I can understand you the way I understand Haajar. But I was wrong. You both are different. You are different. You’re special on your own way. It’s true that you’re a bit annoying. A bit over. A bit loud. But I am in a BIG regret for covering myself from looking at your good side. Your kindness, your sweetness, your goodness. It's all there. It's all in you.

For me, there’s nothing to make up actually. We all do mistakes. Yang dah lepas tu biarkanlah. As I said just now, let it be our bittersweet moments. From now onwards, I just want to be friend with you because of you. Because that is you. And don’t forget sayang, because Allah want us to. This is all what I’m dying to say. I can’t say it out loud because we know each other kan? Masing-masing nak jaga hati masing-masing. Plus masing-masing nak pegang ego masing-masing. As you said, we’re fergile. Rapuh. Sensitive. Nodding. Yes we are.

So here, I let my heart talks to you. Walaupun tak aci korang boleh baca luahan aku tapi aku tak boleh baca luahan korang but I guess I can be a mind reader. Lepas tu buat assumption sendiri. Lepas tu misunderstand lagi. Lepas tu gadogado lagi. Lepas tu taching lagi. Nay. InsyaAllah. Aku doakan semua tu takkan berulang lagi. Because I...

Patah balik cerita yesterday. We didn’t talk much right. Apatah lagi korang asyik cakap pasal assignment and project korang hew rasa macam nak jerit dari seat belakang tu ‘couldyoucutthosecraps?’ kuat-kuat but it’s ok since nobody can tell how much I appreciate those time we spend together. Lebih-lebih lagi after such a long period of time. Akward? At first it was. In the middle pun it was. Sampailah akhirnya aku berjaya tunjukkan perangai gedik dan annoying aku dekat korang then you know siapa si gedik yang annoying itu kan? The same Tasha that you know 5 years ago.

What? We’ve been friend for 5 years seriously?

Aku tak mintak banyak.

Aku cuma nak korang jadi kawan aku sampai bila-bila.

p/s: btw, we still need to talk face to face. and don't simply judge me from this entry ok. iloveusomuch berapa kali nak cakap ni?