u CaRe, i CaRe...

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM

ASSALAMUALAIKUM WBT

Seriously... Like seriously... Have you ever thought that how funny it is when you're talking to someone who used to be so mean, so rude, so different character previously then tibe-tibe buat perangai like acting so cheesy weesy, cheesy wedges, lovey dovey dove, begging you so desperately? That's what will happen bila lelaki meroyan. Apa selama ni kau ingat lelaki tak meroyan ke?





I know it is awkward yet funny and yet I feel so sorry with these type of people. I mean, we all tend to be like that especially when we're in a relationship. But I'm not talking about Encik Domoi and me ok. He's osem. Paling-paling if dia buat aku meroyan pun, dia pandai cover line balik. Dia cepat-cepat tackle aku balik. So, this is not about him. But my other relationship. Ohmai ayat aku pun memang saja nak bagi musnah rumah tangga ke apa? 

Ok let me straight to the point. My previous relationship wasn't that cantik. But I was trying hard to make it as real as possible. I gave the best of me to secure the relationship, to maintain the communication until I feel so tired and until I realize that 'this relationship, won't go anywhere.'. So I gave up! I feel so penat. Because it is not fair if I'm the only one yang beriya but at the other side macam buat tak tahu buat bodoh pretend that everything is ok padahal yang kat sebelah sini meroyan bagai nak gila.

Maybe because he knows that I'm going to stay anyway, so tak payah make effort, tak payah jaga hati aku, tak payah susah-susah nak tackle macam masa mula-mula kenal dulu. Yela, confident sangat aku takkan blah. Tak tahulah. Maybe...

But that's not the way you should be in a relationship, baby. Relationship is a continuous process of love making. A non-stop effort. Even though we know that we love each other, tapi takkan sampai situ je? So once you dah in relationship dengan dia oh so you assume that 'she's mine' and 'she's going to stay with me' even I do nothing to keep her stay like masa mula-mula kenal dulu, calling her, texting her, make her laugh, make her smile, make her feel like there's butterfly, dragonfly, kupu-kupu, belalang in her stomach... Well, to be honest, you're just digging your own grave gentlemen.

Oh please. Bukan semua perempuan clingy. We just want to be taken care of sometimes. Even simple words a day like 'good morning sweetheart' 'wake up, baby' 'miss you' 'thinking of you' 'i need you' 'i wish you're here' bla bla bla will actually really really really means a lot to her. Tak perlu nak text panjang-panjang buat karangan, buat essay, worried that conversation will keep going padahal you're busy with your damn hectic job so you takut tak ada masa nak reply text, tak ada masa nak entertain your girl oh come on, if you're working then obviously she will know, she will understand. The point is, just let her know that she's at least in your mind. Don't be selfish bro. You pun suka when your girl tell you she's missing you, she's thinking of you. So, apa susah sangat nak buat? Ego? Apa benda tu?

Then tu yang kadang-kadang a lot of people regret their simple mistake, especially when their girl went away, I'm not saying seeking for another attention but actually, they do the right thing. Buat apa nak stay dengan orang yang tak care pasal dia? Dok mesej itu ini segala tapi tak ada respon baik bercinta dengan pokok la hoi! Is not that kitorang ni, kaum-kaum ladies ni, asyik nak attention je. Come on laaa! We also got loads of kerja dekat office tau. But we manage to reply your text bukan susah sangat nak tekan few alphabets dekat skrin telefon tu. Send. And dah la. Pi sambung kerja balik. What's a big deal? 

Now bila dah tak ada depan mata, bila dia dah blah, baru nak appreciate, baru nak menangis, baru nak meroyan mintak maaf, menyesal segala...

Honestly, this is about me. Yang memang spesis hati lembut, hati yang cepat nak kesian kat orang, yang cepat nak maafkan orang, tapi kalau sekali dah broken-heart, the word 'forgive' is not for you anymore. Cukup-cukuplah meroyan tu. It's too late. Paling-paling pun I boleh bagi simpati je kat you. Because I pity myself more. And I won't allow anyone to hurt myself. So, once you did it, I'll find my own way. I'll find my own happiness. Because I'm the one in charge.

And now I stay with him, because he's my happiness. I mean, obviously there are my family, my friends, my job, my other parts of life as well but talking about relationship, so the answer is yes, I'm happy with him so I'm going to stay with him. But you know, love isn't always a fairytale. It doesn't always come easy. Ada masa rasa nak gaduh, rasa nak merajuk, rasa nak meroyan, rasa nak sepak laki kau laju-laju, but it's worth it... because you do it together... in order to stay together.





Ohmai, this is so jiwanglah. Ok baby. This is for you. Thank you for always be patient with me, tahan perangai I, sabar, rilek, cool je handle upside down punya makhluk ni. Thank you so much... p/s: I love you!

Apahal tak call???