BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM
ASSALAMUALAIKUM WBT
I think, people really love to know about others private life. Only if you can see how many hits on my previous entry, sure you won't believe it. Well, I myself, don't even expect that Mr. Feelingless would read that entry either. Tengok. Sekarang semua nak speaking. Siapa punya pasal ni? Well, ok. I won't talk about that again. Unless if he did something which terribly makes me want to shout out loud to the whole world, then I will mention him again. I don't know. Maybe something like the best night date I ever had. Or maybe the best heart broken moment too. Who knows. I told you. He's unexpected.
So here again. Me. Talking with myself. Just started reading 'Remember Me' by Sophie Kinsella. My all time favourite writer. And I just finished registered two subjects for this coming semester. I don't know what happened to another subject. And don't know whether should I register my dissertation as well or not. It's like asking 'will-you-marry-me' question because once I say 'i-do' then there's absolutely no turning back. I have to commit myself into it, probably give up my mid-night-movie times, give-up my sleep, my ladies-night-out, my shopping-regime, ready to stick a beautiful dark-panda eye on my face, be a very good friend with all coffee brands and ready to embrace library as my first home. Sounds awesome anyway!
But I'm still thinking. Till at this point, I really can't decide. How should I put it on words? It's a great thing actually. I just need to hear some courages from people around me. Mom and dad. Aemy. Queen B. Bunga-bunga sisters. My girls. And maybe you Mr. Feelingless. Just convince me to take this risk. Lift me up to believe in myself that I can do it. Because after met Prof Chan yesterday, all the positives nerves in me flown away just like that. I know, he wants me to take this dissertation thing seriously. There's no point to rush and blah blah blah all that. Ok, I might be selfish. But I really want to graduate on time and whatever it takes, I am so ready to commit. I can do it. Tell me those. It's all I ever want and need. (boleh pulak mintak mintak kan?)
Well, I pretty much sure this semester will never be as easy as always. The obstacles, the hardness, the soreness, I feel it already. Yes. I might look normal. I smile, I laugh, being sarcastic as always and I write every happy moments here. Sometimes with the spices of motivation. Sure I enjoy every moment. Live peacefully. But the truths only lay on my diary pages. God knows my insecurity, the anxiousness, the curses words that I always want to spit out, the F and B feeling, the heart-broken stories. Tweets? Those are the nicest word I can think about. Soon, please don't expect me to be good all the time. Don't expect me to be able to control my anger. Don't expect me to say only nice words or even to act innocent. No. Not anymore. I will just, do whatever I want and trust my heart to the fullest.
Anyway, to those who believe in me, I really thank you for that. I'll try my best, but please don't push me so hard. Allow me to choose my path and stay with me so I won't go astray. So with that, good night you beautiful people.
So here again. Me. Talking with myself. Just started reading 'Remember Me' by Sophie Kinsella. My all time favourite writer. And I just finished registered two subjects for this coming semester. I don't know what happened to another subject. And don't know whether should I register my dissertation as well or not. It's like asking 'will-you-marry-me' question because once I say 'i-do' then there's absolutely no turning back. I have to commit myself into it, probably give up my mid-night-movie times, give-up my sleep, my ladies-night-out, my shopping-regime, ready to stick a beautiful dark-panda eye on my face, be a very good friend with all coffee brands and ready to embrace library as my first home. Sounds awesome anyway!
But I'm still thinking. Till at this point, I really can't decide. How should I put it on words? It's a great thing actually. I just need to hear some courages from people around me. Mom and dad. Aemy. Queen B. Bunga-bunga sisters. My girls. And maybe you Mr. Feelingless. Just convince me to take this risk. Lift me up to believe in myself that I can do it. Because after met Prof Chan yesterday, all the positives nerves in me flown away just like that. I know, he wants me to take this dissertation thing seriously. There's no point to rush and blah blah blah all that. Ok, I might be selfish. But I really want to graduate on time and whatever it takes, I am so ready to commit. I can do it. Tell me those. It's all I ever want and need. (boleh pulak mintak mintak kan?)
Well, I pretty much sure this semester will never be as easy as always. The obstacles, the hardness, the soreness, I feel it already. Yes. I might look normal. I smile, I laugh, being sarcastic as always and I write every happy moments here. Sometimes with the spices of motivation. Sure I enjoy every moment. Live peacefully. But the truths only lay on my diary pages. God knows my insecurity, the anxiousness, the curses words that I always want to spit out, the F and B feeling, the heart-broken stories. Tweets? Those are the nicest word I can think about. Soon, please don't expect me to be good all the time. Don't expect me to be able to control my anger. Don't expect me to say only nice words or even to act innocent. No. Not anymore. I will just, do whatever I want and trust my heart to the fullest.
Anyway, to those who believe in me, I really thank you for that. I'll try my best, but please don't push me so hard. Allow me to choose my path and stay with me so I won't go astray. So with that, good night you beautiful people.
it's time to give me a hug, Pearl
p/s:
no matter how busy you're, do take good care of yourself, ok.
i miss you.
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