hOw i sUrviVe. HoW wE sUrVivE.

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM

ASSALAMUALAIKUM WBT

Mengenangkan status relationship aku sekarang, honestly, aku sangat kagum dengan tahap kesabaran diri sendiri. It's like, bagilah aku meroyan berapa banyak kali pun, eventually aku akan end up pujuk diri sendiri, sabarlah Ocha, your relationship is expensive, your relationship is exclusive, your relationship is one of a kind, agaknya kalau aku cerita kronologi kisah aku dengan Encik Domoi, korang sure akan cakap relationship aku ni epic. I mean, bukanlah nak cakap epic sampai tahap Jack and Rose, Adam Hawa ke hape, just, yelah... aku yang merasa sendiri benda ni pun sebenarnya masih tak percaya apatah lagi korang yang tak tahu apa-apa ni haish.

So why aku kata expensive? Because it costs a lot. I mean literally expensive. Dulu rajin bergayut guna phone rumah sampaikan bil boleh cecah RM500 lebih tapi sekarang dah pandai saving siket laaa. Thanks to DG. Kami buddyz takkan terpisah because we are unlimited. Gitew.

 (promote jap)

Tu belum cerita pasal date, ok. Kau ingat relationship aku ni punya style, kalau nak dating boleh get ready for 10 minutes, tada, boyfriend kau terpacul depan rumah ke? No, baby. No. Mine is not like that. Kena cari hari apa dua-dua free. Kena rancang perjalanan. Kena tengok holiday schedule. Sometimes checking on online flight ticket dengan harapan ada ticket harga murah gilaaaaa!!! Kena booking boyfriend kau like sebulan awal. And always kena ada back up plan in case date cancel last minute ke, boyfriend kau tiba-tiba ada urgent ke, hape ke...





Yes. Buleh text, buleh call, buleh skype apa semua. (He don't have facebook account so, tak payah nak stalker sangat.) Tapi masing-masing kena booking time pulak laaa. Kadang-kadang, dia busy, aku free. Bila dia free, aku busy. Tambah-tambah bila dah kerja ni. Laaagilah. Bukan tu je, energy pun sama. Jawab call separuh sedar, texting sampai tertido, kadang-kadang sanggup set alarm semata-mata nak bangun tengah malam just to check him out. Benda-benda tu bagi aku biasa dah. That's why aku cakap relationship aku ni mahal. Serius mahal.

Mujur masing-masing dah agree dari awal, to always communicate to each other. At least wish him gemorning and genight. Even not everyday. And tak kiralah marah macam mana pun, penat macam mana pun, sibuk macam mana pun, lambat ke cepat ke, I will answer him, I will reply him. (except last two weeks which is memang aku tak boleh tahan marah sangat then I ignore him for a day and eventually aku jugak yang sakit which is padan muka aku), and all I can do is put myself on his place. Bayangkan kalau aku kat tempat dia then macam mana? Yelah, kalau tak buat macam tu, sampai bila pun tak faham situasi masing-masing. Habis dah dua-dua selfish, dua-dua tak nak compromise to each other. Then mulalah keluar tanda-tanda nak miscommunication (even sometimes it does happens).





And yes, it requires a lot of patient from both of us. Serius. Bukan nak cakap aku ni tough ke penyabar ke understanding ke apa. But knowing him, is one of the benda paling mencabar pernah aku buat. Kalau orang lain, aku rasa boleh end up masuk hospital mental dah. But I don't know how can I managed to get along with him. And samalah jugak, kalau aku ni jenis cepat nak emo, cepat nak meroyan, cepat nak menangis ke apa, then he will be like, sabar je dengar aku potpet-potpet kat telinga dia, rilek je pujuk aku balik, lepas tu minta maaf dengan penuh dramatik, terus aku cool down walaupun nak betul-betul cool tu makan masa jugak sebenarnya. But the thing is, he knows how to handle me. Pretty much.

And thank god, I have no trust issue with him. Sebab bila ada communication, then aku tahu dia buat apa, dia pergi mana, dia pergi dengan siapa, so, tak ada masalah nak percayakan dia. But I have problem with whatsapp sebab yelah kadang-kadang bila nampak dia online tapi dia tak tegur kau, ada possibility untuk kau fikir dia text perempuan lain ke, dia text perempuan lain ke ataupun text perempuan lain...hiks. Yes, I know exactly how it feels. Tipulah kalau tak jealous. Lagi-lagi bila boyfriend kau tergolong dalam kategori 'market'. Sampaikan kawan lelaki dekat office pun nak try dia, apatah lagi kawan perempuan, apatah lagi exes? Apatah lagi...??? Ok, but deep down, honestly, aku rasa secure dengan dia. Sebab... Tak tahulah. Hati aku rasa macam tu. So, macam tulah.

And because our relationship yang pelik dan epic ni ada end goal, I mean ada target which is semua orang pun kalau bercinta mesti la nak end up to settle down kan. So, it makes me strive hard, it makes me commit, it makes me take things seriously. Sekarang bukan masa nak main-main dengan perasaan orang. Bukan masa nak try and error. So I promise myself that I will fight for him and I will fight for us. Tudia orang kalau tengah bercinta tulis belog nampak tak cara dia? nampak? nampak? nampak?

So this is one of the way of how we surviving. And I'm counting days for us to meet in person. Like seriously, setakat ni belum pernah lagi date betul-betul. I mean, date yang betul-betul laaa. And also to officially introduce him in this blog (i-dont-know-when). Yang pastinya, sekarang tak boleh reveal lagi atas faktor-faktor keselamatan dan faktor-faktor kesihatan. I know tak ada kena mengena. Suka hatilah nak cakap apa. And sorry baby, I screenshot gambar you. Actually 'TER' screenshot. And you punya pose pulak boleh cenggitu hah, nasib la dapat publisiti daripada paparazi ni haaa...

Having a long-distance relationship, macam nilah.
So, sekian untuk hari ini. Terima kasih. 

Nak mandi bunga jap bagi jodoh cepat sikit.

Hikhik. Bye!

OnLy On 14th... In 2014

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM

ASSALAMUALAIKUM WBT

This year, 2014 be like so significant year sebab there are few things happened on 14th this year which is bagi aku I-must-remember-this-date haa gitew. (thanks to the diary for make it easier for me to do the flashback). So started on 14/3/14. It's the date aku first kenal Encik Domoi. Actually ada la sebulan sebelum tu aku 'hi' dia tapi macam takde respond kan yelah orang 'hot' mana nak layan orang 'cool'. Tapi yang pasti, 14th March tu, dia call, I mean our very first time talking to each other and that's how I started the counting. So tomorrow (actually it's today), 14th August be like dah lima bulan la sesi berkenal-kenalan ni. Hhhmmm, baru lima bulan. It's a long way to go baby.





Anyway, bukan nak cerita how the feeling was started between us ke apa. Kang kalau aku cerita kang boleh jadi novel kat sini. Serius. Tu belum bagitahu bila tarikh masing-masing confess, tarikh 1st time jumpa face to face, tarikh dia propose, tarikh merisik... eehh??? Well, tengok entry-entry sebelum ni pun you can predict how meroyan I was padahal baru lima bulan kenal. Lima tahun lagi (kalau jodoh panjang) I don't know macam mana dia punya meroyan pulak. Yes, you can say that I'm looking forward for that. (tadah-tangan-bace-doa-cepat-jodoh)





And another significant thing happened on 14th this year is the day I started my real job like sebelum ni more like 'part-time' je. Pernah jadi cikgu ganti, pernah jadi cikgu tadika, pernah keje kedai makan, praktikal dekat PPD hari tu boleh kira skali tak? Ok nevermind. It's until 14/7/14 hari tu when I officially started my first 'proper' job ever! Siapa yang tahu tu, tahulah. But to brag it over here, I guess not yet kot. Kerja is kerjalah. Apa ni takde life la cerita pasal kerja dekat belog chu ols...

Then today, it's 14th August, my final exam result will be out. Soon. I mean anytime from now. Anytime baby, anytime. And so itu je nak cakap. It's 14/8/14. Tapi kalau nak bagitau result tu memang tak ah... Sekian, this is the story of me and the 14th date in 2014. Ada empat kali 14 haribulan lagi to look forward to. Not really anticipating. Kebetulan je kot. Hiks. Ntah apa-apa punya entry ntah. Ok, nak pergi mereput jap sebelum kena maki.

Trobek our first day semester hari tu.

How I mish them so mush!

p/s: the moment I nak post entry ni, result exam pun muncul kat inbox.

 #alhamdulillah #sujudsyukur #dahtakpayahtanyalelebih

wHeN tHe LawYeR aNd ThE tEaChEr WeNt OuT On HaRi RaYa...

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM

ASSALAMUALAIKUM WBT

This is a really-really-really-really lama punya throwback. Like dua minggu ke hape ntah bersamaan dengan tempoh masa aku meroyan sampailah hari ni. Eeerr, hari ni not really. I mean, baru dua tiga hari ni je aku rasa makin sembuh sikit. Kalau tak tu memanjang je hormon dia nak upside down ntah apahal ntah (flip hair sambil jeling maut Encik Domoi).




Ok dah dah. Here, the last story about hari raya. I promise. Lepas ni takda dah gambar-gambar selfie yang menyakitkan hati chu ols walaupun yuno that I don't give a damn care samada korang baca ke tidak belog ni told you right, aku punya pesbuk tu dah macam hidup segan mati tak mahu dah. Amende ntah yang ada kat situ seriously I have no idea. So, this is the only tempat untuk aku share gambar sebab aku boleh upload sebanyak-banyak-banyaknya gambar berserta caption sepanjang-panjang-panjangnya tanpa perlu me'reply' komen dekat gambar-gambar tersebut. Minta maaflah. Aku tak dahagakan 'likes' atau 'comments' daripada orang. I just want to please myself, not others.

Like seriously, because Haajar dah booking raya keenam untuk date dengan aku (sejak bulan puasa lagi dia booking ok) so, sesiapa yang request nak reunion dengan akulah, nak ajak lepaklah, ajak buat maksiatlah hapelah on that day, aku terpaksa tolak dengan penuh tatatertib dan sopan-santunnya mengatakan bahawa aku kerja pada hari tersebut which is yes I was working on that day (tu dok pakai baju opis tak nampak?) tapi lepas habis kerja I straightly went to Melaka lah. Promise is promise baby!

I don't know kenapa si Haajar ni dok melayan je perangai aku. 

Padahal gambar-gambar raya dia takde pulak aku tengok mengarut macam ni.

Tetibe rasa bersalah. Maafkan aku Haajar. Mesti kau menyesal sebab tersalah pilih kawan kan.

Dan bila dia agree, aku pun reply,

"Mana lagi ang nak dapat kawan macam aku? Baq mai sat."

(hoi-hoi-shooting-kat-melaka-cakap-melakeee-leeer)

Hhhmmm yea. We were here. Halia Inc. Dah macam Monster Inc punya sekual dah. Memang si Haajar ni rajin dok explore IG kekdahnya lepas tu teragak nak makan kat tempat pelik-pelik macam ni, muka hakaklah yang ditadahnya. Mujur hakak kau ni sepoting dik. So, Halia Inc. I give you 3 out of 5. Tak tau nak review macam mana. Skill jalan-jalan cari makan dah lama hilang. Maybe kitorang salah pilih menu kot. Len kali mintak recommendation ni tidak buat muka confident je order.

Were here as well. At Bali. Fefeeling Indonesia lettew. 

Cube teka belakang tu ape? Spa? Salah. Kalau nak tahu pergi jenjalan sendiri.
Tak kuasa nak bagitau.

Actually I was so tempted dengan Coffee House kat belakang tu. Memang kalau dah namanya coffee lover kan. Tetapi mengenangkan perasaan was-was lebih menguasai diri, maka we ols hanya mampu berselfie sahaja. Yes. This is what I love about Melaka. Datang banyak-banyak kali pun still ada je tempat baru nak explore. Ada je benda baru nak buat. (thank god ada skandal dengan orang Melake ni haaa) Honestly dah muak sangat dah dengan Shopping Mall. So bila pergi street places macam ni (and macam kat Penang hari tu) I really felt so excited walaupun hakikatnya Melaka tu ibarat jiran sebelah rumah jew hew hew hew.

See, muka esaited selfie kat tengah-tengah bandar Melaka tu as if tak pernah jejak bajet-bajet tourist laaa padahal naik kereta doploh minit pun tak sampai nak balik rumah. Sekian terima kasih.

And also tunaikan hajat si kesayangan nak bergambar dengan wallpaper 'brick-colored-wall' kat belakang tu. How I love her so mmmuuuusssshhhh that I'm willing to do anything for her. Sila cakap aku sweet sekarang! (paksa)

Baiklah, sebelum chu ols disahkan gila dan harus mendaftar di hospital mental because of this entry or the entire entries of my blog, maka aku write off sekarang cuz... yuno... I'm not that kejam sampaikan nak bagi korang sakit mental. Cukuplah aku dan laki aku je ada mental disorder. Tak tergamak nak tengok korang menderita. Oleh itu, sekian wabilahitaufiq walhidayah. Bye! Jaga diri baik-baik. Kalau kena ward detention, just let me know. Aku akan bertanggungjawab kau jangan risau.

oUtiNg RaYa - WiTh ThE LaDiEs

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM

ASSALAMUALAIKUM WBT

Ok, habis cerita raya belah mummy daddy. Now cerita raya rumah mertua pulak gitew statement tak sabar nak bermertua gamaknya... No, ni cerita jalan-jalan raya je. Tak de dah lepak-lepak makan buah lagi. Nak raya rumah boyfriend kang kena ambek pakej raya tiga hari tiga malam. So, masuk hari raya keempat masing-masing dah meroyan dah tak tau nak pi jalan raya mana lagi dan disebabkan cuti pun tak lama, maka aku ambek keputusan bawak anak-anak ni berjalan raya, shopping, pastu pegi makan, memboling and makan, lepak tepi pantai, sambil makan-makan, haaa nampak berapa banyak perkataan makan dia dok ulang tadi?

And masa ni, soalan yang terlintas dalam kepala otak? "oohhh-dah-boleh-makan-ea-siang-siang?" Effect puasa penuh agaknya haish. So sebab dah lapar sangat, and Vivo pun depan mata, malas nak fikir banyak. Vivo pun Vivo lah! Yang penting, makan!

Sanggup ok tukar meja like dua tiga kali pindah tempat semata-mata nak duduk sebelah cermin besar macam ni. Sebab nanti senang nak berprojek selfie kan. Nilah perangai budak-budak zaman sekarang. Mintak maaflah. Memang tak dapat nak dicegah lagi dah.

And yang ni muka geli.

Dah skrol bawak lelaju!

Gambar ni I letak sebab Peah yang pegang camera...

And gambar ni pulak, tomato yang pegang camera...

So kesimpulannya, gambar yang mula-mula aku letak tadi yang paling cantek sebab tu camera belakang and sebab tangan gojes aku yang pegang. Tu muka tak puas hati apasal?

Penat makan, ni lah yang aku cakap tadi. Memboling.

Or ayat yang lebih tepat is memboling ke longkang. 

Hebat bebudak ni punya skil melongkang chu ols jangan tak tau.

Then also layankan fefeeling buat video clip tepi pantai.

Sambil nyanyi lagu Amelina yang pasir-putih-tepi-pantai tuuuuu

Lepas tu tetibe baju dah bertukar.

Lepas tu tetibe I rasa at certain angle, muka I ni ada macam ada iras sambadi pulak. Hhhmmm... Sambadi who? Ok lah. Habis dah cerita jalan-jalan raya. Banyak pulak cerita raya aku tahun ni. Sila tabahlah wahai pembaca sekalian. Harap takde penyakit kronik yang datang. Ok. Bye!

AiDiLfiTri 2014 - PaLoNg VeRsiOn YaW

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM

ASSALAMUALAIKUM WBT

I know, its a bit late. Late sangat-sangat rasanya. Sampaikan daripada banyak idea nak tulis, ye, idea yang mencurah-curah ke ladang gandum tuuu, terus dah tak mencurah-curah dah. Terus rasa macam apa-benda-nak-cakap-ni-hoih tapi sebab dah lama simpan dalam draft, macam tak gamak pulak nak biarkan peram lama-lama. Sakit mata memandang pun da satu hal. So, terpaksalah. In simple way, this is how my raya kedua was like.....

After raya pertama dekat Rembau, this is rumah nenek belah mummy pulak. Dekat Palong 3. Tak pernah cerita kan even entry tahun-tahun lepas pun. Ok, tahun ni kena cerita sebab nak bagitahu celebrate raya pada musim buah is really really really awesome. (teringat kereta kau yang ber'perfume' durian tu babe). Yes, gigih kan mengait buah?

Daripada kakak sampailah ke adik. Eerrr, actually adik tak beriya sangat. Tu makcik duoghang tu je. Dah penat mengadap rambutan kat rumah atok masa raya pertama, so raya kedua is time for maggis pulak la chu ols.

Then Peah annoying sebab takde sape nak layan dia photoshoot. Ok, presenting, model pokok manggis. And alert that selipar yang aku pakai masa ni. In memory, selipar feveret I. Hilang masa pergi raya rumah maklang. Maigod. How life can really be so unfair. (tetibe nak emo)

And rasanya itu je kot. Well, it's good to know that our big family is basically back together. I mean, selepas berapa tahun tak pernah semua adik-beradik mummy berkumpul sekali. Really, this raya is sangat-sangat meaningful. And yes, because I have you too, baby.

Tapi sebab sekarang tengah..... Ok, tolonglah faham aku tengah fefeeling retis pergi mahkamah syariah nak setelkan masalah rumah tangga you see. Macam kena sangat dengan current emotion. (lap air mata di sebalik shades) So, inilah yang dinamakan luar bahagia dalam menderita. Tak tahu nak describe current feeling ni macam mana. Never mind. Leave it people. Still boleh wish selamat hari raya lagi kan? So, happy raya semua! Don't forget #PrayForGaza

Sekian, bye!

mY FuTuRe BaBy aNd Me #ohmytitle

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM

ASSALAMUALAIKUM WBT

I love kids. I really do. Aku suka layan Irfan walaupun budak tu dah besar dah pandai malu-malu dengan orang and punyalah teringin sangat nak fefeeling mummy sampaikan aku paksa Irfan panggil aku Mummy Ocha hah. And semenjak dua menjak ni it's getting worst especially bila pergi jalan-jalan dekat mall, rasa dah tak peduli dah nak masuk drugstore ke, kedai makan ke, kedai baju, kasut, beg and so on ke (sebenarnya masih lagi peduli) just that ada hobi baru like suka pulak masuk kedai-kedai baby, pergi kids department, belek-belek baju budak, which is so weird.





Ye. Sedar diri dengan kepelikan diri sendiri but that was so fun and seronok sangat sampaikan dah mula berangan macam-macam dah ohmai this is so parah. Rasa nak je tanya ada-siapa-siapa-nak-bagi-I-baby-tak? Ok. Itu mengarut sangat. I mean, maybe dah sampai masanya kot. Really. I was crying masa Encik Domoi hantar video baby twin mandi hari tu rasa macam nak tumbuk pun ada jugak laki aku ni sengaja nak cari pasal ke apa dah la aku tengah meroyan nak baby, dah tu boleh pulak dia hantar video eh eh sumpah rasa nak cekik!





Lepas tu masa tengah-tengah boring dekat office, dah jadi addicted pulak bukak you-tube tengok video budak-budak kecik omel macam ni...

Mummy is always the best!

And yang ni pun... melting even tengok banyak-banyak kali.

Ok. Dah sampai seru agaknya. So, kepada yang berkenaan, I'm craving for Natasha junior. Or maybe 'your' junior. So bila agak-agak boleh dapat? Ok. I shouldn't write this entry. Terserlah sangat kegatalannya haish. Dahlah. Bye!

#PrayForGaza

AiDiLFitRi 2014 - ReMBaU vErSiOn

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM

ASSALAMUALAIKUM WBT

Yes. Dah bagitahu kan raya tahun ni ada ahli keluarga baru? Bukan menantu Pak Cik Omar choi bukan, bukan, belum sampai masanya lagi. Tahun depan maybe. Ini cuma nak cakap pasal anak angkat uish dan-dan Peah jadi anak angkat Mummy Daddy aku.

See, punya rajin sampaikan anak kandung pun turun anak tangga pasal pemalas tahap lintah bulan duduk bawah batu-bata. Kau mesti tak faham kan?

Anyway, walaupun perangai kau fake dan poyo-poyo rajin tu buatkan aku rasa nak lempang muka kau laju-laju but I know you were having fun raya dekat Negeri Sembilan kaaan. (baik kau agree!) And on behalf of mummy daddy, thank you sudi beraya with our family yang huru-hara ni. Sorry kalau ada apa-apa yang kurang, terkasar, tertaching, buli kau buat kueh raya dan sewaktu dengannya. Ok habis. Ampun maaf chu ols!

Ohmai, flawless sangat muka guna beutify camera padahal realitinya muka hantu raya lagi lawa kot aku rasa.
Kesian laki aku tertipu dengan camera trick.

Adorable couple yang setiap kali nak bergambar mesti kena paksa dulu kalau tak, jangan haraplah...

Dah la sesi ampun maaf dipinta tak reti nak serius.

Laki bini ni mintak maaf style apa pun I cannot brain. Daddy terpaksa pasghah.

Daddy's prince and princesses.

The Omars. 

This year entah tahun ke berapa ntah aku rasa baju raya tak pernah seiring sejalan. 

Ok, tahun depan nak sedondon satu family. Dengan menantu sekali. 

Tak kira! Kau tengoklah nanti!

Ok. Malas ah letak gambar satu-satu. Nah aku buat combo. 

Siap sepupu sepapat belah Rembau sekali aku bagi.

Paling best, combo dengan anak buah baru. Baby Hadif in da haus. Habis kena peluk cium ngan maklong pagi-pagi raya. Mintak maaflah. Siapa suruh comey sangat. Kan maklong da jatuh cinta...

Ini baru hari raya pertama. Kau tunggu hari raya kedua, ketiga, keempat, kelima punya cerita nanti aku letak kat sini. Ye aku tahu belog aku ni kalau tak cerita benda-benda meroyan, cerita benda gedik-gedik macam ni, cerita berilmiah kan katanya tadi. Ok aku nak sambung buat exam paper... Tetibe dah jadi rajin.

Muka bahagia sebab puasa tahun ni tak payah ganti. 

Yesh yesh yesh!!!

nOt YeT tO GiVe uP

Long Distance Relationship aren’t always ideal. 

In fact, they’re really tough. 

You spend countless of hours just talking through a phone or through a screen. 

You can’t see the person when you want to or when you most need them.

You can’t hug, you can’t hold hands, you can’t kiss. 

You lose the intimacy in a physical sense. 

But then, your relationship becomes based on each other and nothing else. 

You learn to communicate,because a long-distance relationship without communication is nothing. 

 You learn to trust, because you can’t always see or know everything the person is doing. 

You learn to sacrifice, because someone’s always going to lose a bit of sleep from the time difference. 

And lastly, you learn to appreciate.

So often, we take for granted the people and relationships in our lives because we think they’ll always be there.



But when you only have a limited amount of time with a person, you learn to appreciate and cherish every single moment you have with them.



When you finally see that person after weeks or months of seeing them only through a computer screen, it is one of the greatest feelings in the world.



When you’ve waited for something so long and you finally have it, you cherish it. The key to a long-distance relationship is faith.



If both of you are not willing to give up,



If both of you are willing to stand up and still try after every time one of you or both of you fall.



“Distance isn’t for the fearful, it’s for the bold ".



It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for the little time with the one they love.



It’s for knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.”

AiDiLfiTRi 2014... iNi tEaSeR Je Ok!

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIIRAHIM

ASSALAMUALAIKUM WBT

Macam biasa, aku jadi rajin update belog bila rasa boring dekat office ataupun bila rasa annoying dengan something or maybe bila rasa penat mengadap benda-benda serius je sepanjang masa haish tua sangat ke sampaikan tak reti nak get a life?

Eh, bajet aku rajin nak masuk office lima hari raya? Ikutkan hati nak direct seminggu cuti duduk rumah tengok tv makan kerepek goyang-goyang kaki tapi memandangkan exam paper students kesayangan tak siap lagi dan aku pun bukanlah spesis rajin sangat nak melayan tetamu datang raya especially yang kategori makcik-makcik dan yang sewaktu dengannya jadi adalah lebih baik aku duduk kat opis buat benda-benda berilmiah macam ni. Update belog pun ilmiah what...

Ilmiah sangat ni...

And this is just the teaser tau. Belum betul-betul cerita hari raya lagi. Next update baru aku membebel panjang sikit. Just nak intro je, nak bagitahu tahun ni raya family Pak Cik Omar ada artis jemputan. Namanya Peahlofa diterbangkan khas dari Sabah. And nak bagi amaran kepada yang bukan kaki selfie tu sila siapkan tangki oksigen ke, baldi nak tadah muntah ke in case rasa-rasa macam nyawa nak tercabut tengok gambar-gambar tak sedar diri sempena hari raya ni nanti.

Memang kalau upload gambar ni satu-satu gamaknya skrol belog aku tujuh hari tujuh malam pon tak habes.
Sekian. Ok bai! See you when I rajin nak taip lagi.

And yang ni kena kasi azan kuat-kuat sikit.
Biar syaitan-syaitan jin bertanduk semua keluar daripada badan syuh syuh.
(buat muka inesen)

WhEn i EnD tHe ReLaTiOnShiP

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM

ASSALAMUALAIKUM

Agak lama tak update blog. I know. I miss you too (cakap dengan blog). Sebab tu hari ni, sekarang ni, right in the office, because I have no mood to continue creating the exam questions, so I decided to blog. Lately, perasaan macam tak berapa nak best. I started to question this and that, here and there, almost everything. Semakin aku sayang dekat Encik Domoi, semakin banyak dugaan yang datang. Yes. I'm talking about relationship (again). Yes. I'm talking about betapa susahnya nak refuse perasaan orang. Yes, I'm talking about kenapa bila aku dah ada Encik Domoi, sorang-sorang dok gedik datang kat aku. Yes, I'm talking about feeling too.

Well, there's a guy. My old school friend. We used to be so close to each other. Sharing this and that. Do things together. Just in short that I end the relationship, I back off from the relationship because I can't bear the broken heart when I realized that I was just an option for him. It was hurt. It's really really hurt. It took like three months before I finally understand what I really want. Yes. I don't want to be an option. You want me, then leave her. You want her, then I leave. M.G.B Mr. Whatever.

I started to move on. Leading a joyous life ahead. Enjoy each and every moment with my girls. Yes. girlfriends are always the best! I gain more time to spend with them. Value the sisterhood. Until I finally open the door for another man. He was so nice. Funny. Decent. Ok, handsomelah jugak. The relationship was smooth until he suddenly out of nowhere remain silent for no reasons like a month (or more). Which makes me wondering about everything. Which as well makes me decided to end the relationship. Which makes me understand and realize that being ignored is the worst feeling ever. So, buat apa nak stay? Buat apa nak terhegeh-hegeh kalau orang dah tak nak? 

Just currently he came back. Do whatever it takes to keep in touch with me. Like seriously, the only reason for me to stay strong and tough is because Encik Domoi is always there for me. I mean, if I'm not with anyone at the moment, memang dah lama I give him another chance. Because you can't imagine the effort that he made, the hardness he's been through, bear with all the harsh words form me. Maigod. Still, he never give up. I must say, that was really impressive. Just that I still can't forget how hurtful the feeling when he left me alone. So, I learned from that relationship. M.G.B Mr. Feelingless.

I gain experiences. I met new people. I met kawan-kawan lama yang tak contact bertahun-tahun but still feeling like knowing someone new. I keep going. I clear my mind. Malas nak meroyan over benda remeh-temeh macam ni lagi dah. When I end the relationship, I learned that they don't deserve my tears. They don't deserve the precious me. People come and go. And I accept them open heartedly. I kawan dengan semua orang. I jumpa macam-macam orang. And it makes me more understand what I want in relationship and life. 

I don't care you kaya ke miskin. As long as you humble and down to earth that makes me respect you. It's a biggest turn off bila ada orang gunakan kekayaan as their pick-up line. Awak, saya beli kereta baru. Awak, kalau awak nak guna duit awak cakap je dengan saya. Awak, saya nak pergi melancong kat oversea. Awak, hari jadi nanti awak nak hadiah apa awak bagitau saya. Awak, saya nak belikan baju raya untuk awak. Awak, saya taknak awak susah. Awak... ok dah cukuplah. Awak ingat saya ni apa? Yes. Memang duit and harta benda semua tu penting. But the way he show off in order to get close with me seriously... I learned that 'bragging person' is so not me. All I can say is M.G.B Mr. Annoying.

And when I end the relationship, I started to respect myself more. Easy going macam mana pun, aku tahu aku perempuan, aku ada maruah diri. Yes, I'm very open-minded person. I can talk about everything and anything. Any issue, any topic. But once you started to disrespect me, once you started your nonsense, cakap benda yang bukan-bukan dengan aku (you-know-what-i-mean), then again, I'm getting clear about what I want in a relationship. I can talk about having a baby but not 'how' to make a baby. I can talk about hug and kisses but not 'where' to hug and kiss. Ada beza lelaki yang baik dengan lelaki yang bermoral. So, M.G.B Mr. Devil.





Just so you know that it's getting more and more clear. Because things that I learned from every relationship, obviously made me stronger. And finally I can see myself with someone who share the same dream with me. We want a family. We want babies. We want to wake up in the morning laying on each other side. We want to make each other happy. We want a partner who can get along not only with us, but also the world around us. Our families, our siblings, our friends, our duties, our responsibilities. A partner that we can share everything. Yeah, someone who can be just like our BFF.

Well, things not going to be easy. Things not going to be smooth and fine all the time. There will be misunderstanding, there will be time when you feel so hard to compromise with your partner, there will be certain things that annoys you and bugs you so much. When I end the relationship, I learned that I shouldn't expect much from people. I learned to embrace things. Their best part and also their worst. Not trying to fix them. Not saying that I'm with the perfect human being on earth. Just I do know now where I'm meant to be... Hopefully...

p/s 1: abaikan segala grammatical error.

p/s 2: this is the first entry after my birthday. 

so that's probably the reason why it sounds a bit serious. 

nak kata dia dah matured la tuuu... 

#tolonglah

BeSkOt RaYa ~ ReQuEsTeD By NNR

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM

ASSALAMUALAIKUM WBT

Aku rasa, setiap tahun pun aku dok buat benda ni. Post resipi kuih raya dekat belog disebabkan desakan peminat so nak buat macam mana ye kita turutkan sajalah. So, dear Cik Nurul, here's the beskot semperit aka beskot dahlia yang kau mintak hari tu. Aku tak tahu nak cakap macam mana dah dekat mak nenek ni. Kalau kau gugel 'beskot-raya-ocha-omar' pun confirm keluar punya. Bukan satu jenis, tiga empat aku pakejkan sekali.

Anyway, tak apalah. Barang yang lepas jangan dikenang. Hambeklah resipi ni. Kopipes daripada belog aku sendiri, sekian, terima kasih. Kalau kat rumah kau tak ada penimbang, so pandai-pandailah ko mengagak 100g tu sama dengan berapa cawan giteeewww...

Bahan-bahan yang kita perlukan ialah:

240 GRAM TEPUNG GANDUM *

100 GRAM TEPUNG JAGUNG *

160 GRAM TEPUNG KASTARD *

300 GRAM MENTEGA

160 GRAM GULA AISING

2 BIJI KUNING TELUR

ESEN VANILLA

SEDIKIT CERI MERAH UNTUK HIASAN

(Ayak dan gaulkan semua bahan *)

Cara membuatnyeeeewwww:

Putar mentega dengan gula JANGAN sampai kembang - Masukkan kuning telur - Esen vanilla - Gaul sebati - Masukkan tepung sedikit demi sedikit sampai habes - Tekap dalam acuan dahlia - Bakar sampai masak.

And aku tak tahulah berapa kali aku recycle gambar ni. Takpe. Yang penting, this is originally by me. Bukan gambar search kat gugel ok. So, kalau takde pape lagi, boleh hakak mintak diri dik? Mintak maaflah semenjak dua menjak ni busy tak sempat nak bagi kasih sayang kat chu ols. Mujur laki sendiri tak terabai. Tak pasal-pasal je kang.

So akhir kata, selamat berkuih-raya. Weekend ni aku start, kau tunggulah. Eh jap. Hari tu aku cakap nak buat cupcakes kan. Nak deco omel-omel kasi ayah bawak pergi masjid. Kononlah deco. Sekali mummy cakap, tak payah nak deco sangat, selera orang tua dengan budak-budak bukan sama. Patah seribu hajat nak mendeco. Nak ayak icing sugar pun tak gamak dah. So, inilah dia, cupcakes sepi-tanpa-deco wah nama tak beragak!

Dah. Tak payah pandang lama-lama. Walaupun tak cantek, yang penting pakcik-pakcik masjid tu suka cupcakes aku. Ada yang offer nak jadi menantu lagi tu. Hewhewhew. (muka-malu-malu-kucen) Ok bai.

iFtaR (undercover)

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM

ASSALAMUALAIKUM WBT

First of all, ampun para kakak sekelian. Adik nak menderhaka. Tak bulih weh letak gambar ni dalam folder lama-lama. Hidup bulih jadi tak tenteram sebab dah jadi habit, pantang ada gambar je mesti nak belog sebab memang spesis tak reti nak upload gambar kat fb. Asyiklah nak tunggu orang upload lepas tu buat muka tak malu tag diri sendiri. Lepas tu dia depress sorang-sorang ah aku nak belog sekarang jugak, tak kira! Haaa, macam tu la lebih kurang.

Ini baru berpisah dua minggu tau. Feeling macam tak jumpa setahun. Pasal dah janji sebelum semester break hari tu nak iftar together. So, puaslah masing-masing mencari weekend yang semua orang available which is last saturday. Itupun actually Anis tak pat join buka sama-sama. Eleh, lepak chatime bulih pulak...urgh!





So ceritanya, lepas setelkan urusan-urusan dekat Nilai, I went straight to Shah Alam. Lepak rumah Iema, melepet beramai-ramai. Ok. Tak payah cerita detail kot. Yang penting hajat nak buka puasa together dah tercapai.

Baru tahu, Dataran Shah Alam yang diorang dok menyebut-nyebut tu rupanya padang ragut beginilah. Aku ingatkan Dataran Shah Alam tu yang ada jam besar like Dataran Merdeka ke hape kan. (yes-pathetic-sangat) So, sebelum datang situ, kitorang shopping kat bazar, pastu bersilalah tengah padang tu dengan para jemaah lain fefeeling piknik besar-besaran. Which is fun jugak sebenarnya. Thank you girls. (lap-air-mata)

So, ok laa. Tu je nak cerita. Yang dua gambar kat bawah ni, iklan. 

Sempena hari last lepak sebelum we officially ber'holiday'. 

Ye, holiday sangat.

#entrydahhabis

#germanmenangworldcup

#congratshaajar

#okbai

sOrRy BaBy, bUt i ChOoSe iRfaN

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM

ASSALAMUALAIKUM WBT

Fine. I got so much things to write sampai satu tahap bila benda dah terlampau banyak aku jadi tak tahu nak cakap pasal apa. It's been two weeks since my semester break. Still tak boleh nak duduk diam sampai khatam dah tiga helai baju kurung. Just randomly, I miss this little guy more than I miss Encik Domoi. Because this guy always makes me laugh and tak pernah pulak dia bagi aku meroyan setakat ni. (walaupun-dia-punya-honest-kadang-kadang-boleh-tahan). But at least he's not putting other woman's picture as his dp.

How I miss this moment. And the moment with my girls together lepak dekat library. Study. Kejar dateline. Panik dengan turnitin. Gelabah whatsapp group member hantar part masing-masing to compile. Teasing and cursing each other. Selfie in the class. Ok, back to normal act.

This is what we were actually doing at that time.
(bila nak ada anak sendiri ni haish)

Current issue? Aku tak mention apa-apa tak bermaksud aku tak peduli. It's just, I feel like I'm not the one yang layak nak bercakap pasal west bank and all tragedies there. The least I can do, is keep praying for them and to be honest jugak, bukan senang nak boycott product diorang ni. But slowly, I will. Kalau boleh, tak naklah boycott bermusim kan. So, #PrayForThem #PrayForGaza

And yes. In other words, this is entry named, dear-encik-domoi-part-iv. And yes, walaupun I nampak cool but I'm so damn meroyan because of that picture. Rasa macam nak buat essay pasal Adam Levine, Bradley Cooper, Depp, Tom Hiddleston, Alex O' Loughlin, Fabregas, siapa je yang aku tak pernah mention dalam belog ni? Urgh!

p/s: motif nak buat essay? #idontknow

CuPcaKes Ok cUpCaKeS

BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM

ASSALAMUALAIKUM WBT

Minggu ni minggu kedua aku cuti sekolah a.k.a cuti sem. Baru nak masuk minggu kedua ok belum genap dua minggu lagi. Tapi honest (buat-muka-honest), aku gelisah gila. Tak senang duduk. Rasa restless. Rasa macam ada something wrong bila tak buat apa-apa. Tambah pulak bulan puasa ni. Nak makan gamaklah pulak. Nak keluar shopping jalan-jalan agaklah kalau setakat Gemencheh ni apa benda nak shopping hoi? The best decision, jadi suri rumah sepenuh masa. Menyapu, mop lantai, sidai baju, lipat baju, shopping kain sendiri, gunting sendiri, jahit sendiri, fitting sendiri, seriously, ada potensi menang anugerah suri rumah terbaik (muka-riak).

Tapi, part dapur aku tak usik lagi. Setakat ni, mummy je yang jadi bos kat situ. Setiap kali nak masak untuk berbuka, position aku setakat assistant chef je. Belum naik makam lagi. Setakat seminggu ramadhan ni, lauk grand-grand semua mummy tapau. Aku paling best pun takat goreng ikan masin. Dan goreng ayam. Dan jugak goreng sayur sawi jepun dengan sos tiram. Dan jugak masak nasi. Dan jugak bancuh air. Dan jugak perangat balik lauk-lauk tu semua time sahur. Eh, ke mummy yang perangat? Ok. Dah.

So, aku mula rasa tak puas hati. Apa ni tak mencabarnya tugas? Hah. Nampak statement berlagak? Sekali kang mummy baca belog ni dan-dan dia pencen nak masak lepas tu order masak gulai lemak cili api, masak kari, segala asam pedas, lauk tiga, empat, lima, enam rasa dia tala kat aku. Hah, menggelabah nak gugel segala benda. Mulalah terkedek-kedek puji, air tangan mummy the best lah, tak ada siapa masak lagi sedap daripada mummy lah, padahal kau malas sebenarnya kan kan kan. (kalau mak mertua baca pun masak jugak aku ni).

Ok. The point is, aku tibe-tibe teringat yang aku dah lama tak baking (tukar-topik-nak-cover-line). Like seriously. Last aku buat kek masa birthday mummy hari tu kot. Eh, no. Masa wan buat kenduri hari tu. But this time tak tahu apasal mengidam nak buat cupcakes tibe-tibe. Lepas tu nak deco omel-omel. Tapi ada satu masalah. Tukang makan dah balik Mentakab. So, siapa nak perabihkan cupcakes tu semua kalau aku buat nanti? Was thinking nak mintak daddy bawak kat masjid. Bagi orang makan-makan lepas terawikh. Wah, lepas terawikh makan cupcakes chu ols. Bukan kuih-muih, roti jala, bubur lambuk ke hapa. Cupcakes ok cupcakes!

Well, ni baru niat je. Tak tahu lagi bila nak mem-baking. Tapi yang pasti memang mengidam sangat nak buat. Pembawakan budak agaknya. Ok bye. Kalau jadi nanti aku blog. Nak resipi pon boleh. (bajet-kek-aku-deliches)

But don't expect they will turned out like these laaa.
Sepuloh tahun bertapa kat dapur pun belum tentu siap satu cup.

pics source: 

http://food.allwomenstalk.com/of-the-cutest-cupcakes-youll-ever-see

DeaR eNciK dOmOi - paRt iii (this-is-crazy!)

ASSALAMUALAIKUM WBT

I can't help it. This is so adorable and lovely to not to share. And it represents my feeling sooooooo much that I could've shout 'YES-I-AM-CRAZY-SO-CRAZY-FOR-YOU!!!'. Macam mana boleh jadi macam ni? Like seriously, I have no idea what happened to me. But one thing for sure, he's the reason of 'me-behaving-this-way'. Eerrr, and that's why I'm sharing this video.

Ok, tulis pendek je. Kang buat essay kang ada pulak yang muntah tak pasal-pasal je batal puasa. So Ocha, kau relax, cool, buat macam tak ada apa-apa...

Tapi macam mana nak buat-macam-tak-ada-apa-apa lepas tengok video ni hah? Tak bulih nak cover senyum langsung. Comey okeh. (especially bro yang paling kiri tu) And sweet. And that song pun, lirik dia... Apa benda relax, cool segala? Dah la dengan lagu fefeeling begitu, dengan budak-budak omel tu boleh pulak buat aksi bebajet nak propose nak romantik-romantik hah, dah dapat idea nanti kahwin nak paksa anak-anak buah nyanyi lagu ni reramai. Nisa, Danisha, Bazli, Firas, Adam, Lala, Yayad, Hadif, semuanya maklong paksa! Tak kira...hahah.





Ok, honestly, memang aku ada rasa macam nak transform jadi orang gila ni which is honestly, it's weird, it's strange, it's like you're dating someone in your imagination, someone that far far away from you (having a long distance relationship macam nilah), someone you can't touch, someone you can't see right before your eyes, someone that unavailable physically but you can feel and you know he's close to your heart. Seriously, this is sooo rare and pelik sangat sangat sangat which I still can't believe I'm doing this, but...

actually... I like it.
(walaupun-kadang-kadang-meroyan)

And yes, that song is for you gile Encik Domoi. Dengan ucapan, I heart you. (pengsan-lepas-taip-ayat-cheesy) - countdown seratus hari lepas tu I delete entry ni. Seriously!